מה היית רוצה לשמוע ולא שמעת, שאלה שחשוב לשאול כדי למנוע תסכול.

A question I like to ask is – "Try and think if there is anything you hoped to hear in this conversation that hasn't been said or discussed."

I like to ask this especially in situations where there is a hierarchical relationship and especially if I feel on the other side that they're not satisfied with the conversation.

The question helps us make sure that the other side doesn't leave the conversation with frustration that we failed to recognize or sometimes even they themselves were not aware of.

This is basically a question regarding "the absent". It's easy to miss the "absent", because it doesn't have a clear presence.

The "absent" is something we didn't talk about for different reasons. Maybe we just didn't think about it. Maybe we don't think we have an answer or anything to say about it at this point in time, and maybe we're avoiding the topic.

The question touches different components:

1. Communicating the message – You're important to me and I want you to walk out of this room feeling good.
2. Communicating the message – it's OK to ask about or bring up anything that is on your mind or heart.
3. Chance for solution – it gives us a chance to find a solution even if not a perfect one or not the one they had hoped for.

Caring, enabling requests and searching for solutions does not mean you will, or have to, give them exactly what they want.

But it's important to remember that in every human interaction there is the dimension of content and purpose and the dimension of relationships and we must address both.